she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Bring me that man meat
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
