I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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