:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
