I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
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thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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