Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
