We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
