I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I smell like Dick and happiness
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
