false alarm. still invincible.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize