I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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