There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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