you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
