What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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