Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
