Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You don't make any sense
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