getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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