I need help removing her.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
