they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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