I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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