had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
