So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
