I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
