If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
