people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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