I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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