i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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