I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Say something about gay babies.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
