why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
