ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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