how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I look better un-naked...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
