her facebook's as public as her vagina
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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