Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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