I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
