This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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