Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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