One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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