chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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