listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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