and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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