I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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