I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
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He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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