How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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