i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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