Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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