Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
