did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
