dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
