If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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