Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
How drunk are you?
Completed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
