Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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