Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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