So drunk, too bad you don't want this
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
