sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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